I will wear my colors and scars proudly.

This weekend I celebrated my training with my first race since being diagnosed with cancer. I chose my local chamber color run 5k. I was irrationally nervous. I can run three miles with my eyes closed now a days but the thought of someone else watching me and possibly failing was terrifying. 

Saturday morning Matt, Edi and I all got up early and went to the start line. Dressed in a new white shirt I felt new and shiny. Looking back seems symbolic of my old self. As I crossed the starting line, full of energy, I ran forward. The first color blasted at me was pink. Pink the color of breast cancer. Multiple people spraying, throwing and cheering. Pink dust was everywhere. Just like being diagnosed you are full on bombarded with this new experience. With a slight pause of shock, I continued forward. My pace quickened I was determined to conquer this race.

My girl and I at the start line.

The next few stations were green, blue, orange, and a giant blast of red when the container broke and covered me. Each representing a treatment or surgery. The effects sprayed across my shirt like the scars across my body. Each one leaving its mark.

Each step feeling the wear of my body and the pace I was keeping. With the race coming to an end I returned back to pink. Symbolic of my cancer returning. But, this time I knew what to expect. I knew the dust would cover me. Learning to lean into the cloud and I pushed through. Emerging from the dust I felt fire. My body hurt but a flame arose in me. My legs pushed forward strong from the training I put in. I put my head down and ran. Crossing the finish line proud of all I had accomplished. 

I finished with a personal best time of 28:16. I came in 6th place for my age group and 9th for overall female. 

Today I will celebrate what I have become. Emerging stronger from the cloud of cancer, I have pushed myself to be better than before. Today I will wear my colors and scars proudly as a testament of what was and have now become.

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